Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Who Knew Subway Sandwiches Can Make You Lose Weight AND Get a Date

From LM in Koreatown:

This is an open letter to the guy I dated last year for the month of June-

You stopped me at a Subway in Koreatown. You said my smile made you need to talk to me. You gave me your card and SURPRISE! you were an actor and SURPRISE! you had no car. You were beautiful. 100% conventionally good looking. You weren’t my type but I didn’t mind the idea of having you as arm candy. I never thought of myself as vain, but I guess it looks like I am! It was on our first date that I discovered how stupid you were. I was holding out hope you were just nervous and you weren't always this way (nope, you're just stupid). Our second date was my birthday but I didn’t tell you it was my birthday. I didn’t want anyone to know. We had a good time in Downtown, but I was more concerned about listening to the new Arcade Fire album that was playing on the loud speakers than talking to you. We had sex that evening and my only thought during it was, “you have to be kidding me”. You were obnoxiously loud and fast I was slightly embarrassed for you. You were very sweet to me but I no longer trusted any man. Finally one day, right in the middle of sex, you accused me of faking it. Maybe I was, but that was no excuse to banish me to my own couch. That was it. The last thing you said to me as you walked out the door was, “What’s the difference between a PC and a Mac and can you get on the internet with a Mac?” I wasn’t that sad to see you go. I think you’re dating a teenager now which is good. Someone more on the same intellectual wavelength as you.

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