Thursday, August 7, 2008

Lonliness Made Me Do It!

I've been living in this moral void for almost five years. I'm not too shabby lookin'. 5'6", thin, blue eyes, sometimes blonde, sometimes brunette with bangs. I'm quirky. I wear old ladies glasses though I don't need them and I have a huge crush on David Byrne. I like wearing mens tuxedo shirts and I have a silkscreen of David Bowie that I cherish more than my car. Some men find this endearing. Others find it creepy.

I came out here to work in the film industry. Most of my friends work in the film industry. This could be the reason why we're all single and miserable. We work like dogs and we wonder why our social lives resemble that of our parents. We come from small towns having only ever dated one person, then find ourselves hooking up the with entire mailroom at WMA, or worse, the entire bullpen at E! We blur the lines of our "personal assistant" positions. We drink too much then puruse Birds on Franklin looking for the local that best resembles Scarlett Johansson or Justin Timberlake. You scan your cell phone and drunk text that dude named Thor or that chick named Candy that you met at the party two years ago on Lincoln in Venice and ask if they want to come over at 2AM.

And why do you do these things?

Cause you're fucking lonely and you haven't gotten laid in a long time.
At least by anyone who wasn't drunk and spending the rest of the night hugging your toiliet.

Do you have any stories like this and not ashamed to share them? Then send them in! They'll be anonymous and save you $100 an hour explaining it to your shrink.

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